


I don't believe in exile

by Flashofhope



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Gen, Oneshot, Robotnik is tormented by the mushroom planet, but he holds on by talking to his rock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22908613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flashofhope/pseuds/Flashofhope
Summary: Robotnik resists the maddening conditions of the Mushroom Planet, with the help of the paperweight to his sanity 'Agent Stone.'
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	I don't believe in exile

Storm clouds gathered in the sky, like whirling austrian goat’s milk in a cup of coffee, so frequently brought to Doctor Ivo Robotnik’s by his assistant, Agent Stone. Unlike Agent Stone however, the mushroom infested planet he was currently marooned on, had no regard for the doctor’s tireless search for resources, to make his way home. Pelting the bald domed scientist often, with heavy rainfall to nourish the abundant toadstools dotting the planet. Ivo took the frequent rain as a personal insult.

“This place… is doing _everything_ in its power to stop me!” Robotnik ranted to a small rock, he had carved in the likeness of his loyal assistant. The paperweight to his sanity.

“The food is weakening, the rain slows me down and the only thing, these oversized pizza toppings are good for, is giving me cover!” Robotnik counted a list of his grievances on his fingertips, under the cap of the very thing he was complaining about.

‘Agent Stone’ could not reply of course, but his presence spurred Ivo on to find the resolve to continue his mission, deep within his raging heart and hungry belly.

“If you were here, Agent Stone, I would already have an umbrella, a latte and a rocketship to blast the hell off this ditchwater planet!”

“But you’re not here!” Robotnik retorted. “The original you, I mean.” He clarified to the rock who ought to be ashamed of itself, for not being the genuine article who saw to his every need. 

But the doting assistant would eventually move on, Ivo realized. The lackey had bills to pay, regular people things to worry about and a new boss to brownose to. I'll allow it, this one time. Robotnik thought. As long as he comes crawling back to me when I get back.

From the corner of his eye, the doctor spied a black and blue blur, whizzing by him. A dragonfly.

“Oh look. Nature’s apex predator. With a 95 percent kill rate!” He remarked with a sing-song voice that could be used for addressing children or mocking grown colleagues.

“My success rate was even higher! Until that athlete’s foot of a rodent ruined everything.” Robotnik rose from the damp moss he was sitting on, and bumped his head on the tall, yet cramped gills, underneath the mushroom cap.

“Get it? Athlete’s foot. A fungal infection, because we’re on a planet of—Oh, nevermind.” He sighed, feeling disheartened at needing to explain the joke, and a longing pang for a compliment, Agent Stone usually gave him after a witty quip. 

—

In the sky above, the stifling grey clouds that allowed a moment of reminiscing parted. The doctor was now free to resume his fruitless search to find materials, on a planet barren of anything remotely useful in building an escape pod.

An escape pod itself, was being generous. Armed with leftover plating that would barely serve as an outer hull and the remnants of an engine. The chances of Doctor Robotnik successfully constructing a space worthy craft, were a slim 5 percent. Including wishful thinking.

As if to confirm how bad Doctor Robotnik’s luck truly was, the doctor encountered a portent sight, on the edge of a mushroom cap he had been trekking on.

“A fairy circle.” He remarked, and paused to consider it. Such phenoma is said to curse whoever was dumb enough to step inside it. But Robotnik was neither dumb or superstitious. Such an occasion called for a hurtful movie reference. 

“Bad news, _Tinkerbell_ , I don’t believe in fairies!” Robotnik kicked the ring of tiny mushrooms and slipped on the damp grass, they were growing on.

Falling from his path, in what could be described as an act of supernatural retribution. Robotnik’s mouth tasted dirt, as he tumbled down the hill. As if karma itself were making him eat his own words. The man’s rolling descent eventually came to a stop, when he reached the floor of the hilltop.

Fighting back a wave of nausea as he got to his feet, Robotnik made out a remarkable sight, that no swimming vision could stop him from seeing; The mouth of a cave enveloped within the hill, obscured by shadows cast by a cluster of giant mushrooms. Like protruding umbrellas, blocking his path to freedom.

The cave itself was inky black. Its entrance illuminated by what little light was allowed to stream in from outside, before being swallowed by the darkness. 

“Why on _Earth_ , did it take so long to find this place?!” Robotnik exploded, enraged by the futile search, he’d endured for two months. If the doctor had been any madder, he might nearly have missed the flash of a familiar green and blue planet, appearing within the luminescent purple crystals embedded within the cave’s rough walls.

But as a man accustomed to being aware of his surroundings, while enraged, nothing escaped Robotnik.

“Earth.” He said out loud, to confirm he wasn’t just seeing things. The Earth appeared once more before vanishing, in a flash of white.

“This… is what those unusual rings were crafted with. Voice reactive, teleporting capable crystals. A pity they beat me to the punch.” Robotnik said, believing that his intellect could have conceived a gateway device, that had existed thousands of years before him.

But as was typical of progress. Recreating such an invention came at a great personal cost.

“I want you to know, that in no way does this reflect my feelings towards you.” Ivo fondly looked into Agent Stone’s carved eyes and proceeded to use the rock to bash the crystal out of the cave’s walls.

Using his own metal scraps and the precious crystal, Robotnik had succeeded in building a working doorway that would take him straight back to Earth. Kickstarted with a jolt from the crackling quill. The blue pest’s very own spikes would be his undoing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my one man show. I hope you enjoyed it. (I had to start over from scratch, so that's why it came so late after the movie.)
> 
> Comments are appreciated.


End file.
